The Demon has decided it's time for some rules to guide aspiring authors as they go about the Herculean task of querying literary agents:
- No bitching! Okay, you are allowed a small whine only after your fiftieth rejection.
- No voodoo dolls. If you’re stupid enough to think this will work, odds are you’ll end up sticking the pin in your hand instead of the doll.
- No dart boards with pictures of famous literary agents.
- Never imply that Tony Soprano is a friend of yours and he really, really wants to see your novel published.
- As much as you hate being ignored by agents, Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction should never become your role model.
- Hunger strikes are fruitless.