An aspiring author confronts the literary demons of the world and sets off in search of an agent.

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Rules of Querying

The Demon has decided it's time for some rules to guide aspiring authors as they go about the Herculean task of querying literary agents:
  • No bitching!  Okay, you are allowed a small whine only after your fiftieth rejection.
  • No voodoo dolls. If you’re stupid enough to think this will work, odds are you’ll end up sticking the pin in your hand instead of the doll.
  • No dart boards with pictures of famous literary agents.
  • Never imply that Tony Soprano is a friend of yours and he really, really wants to see your novel published.
  • As much as you hate being ignored by agents, Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction should never become your role model.
  • Hunger strikes are fruitless.


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