An aspiring author confronts the literary demons of the world and sets off in search of an agent.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

From the Really, Really Bad Book Idea Department:


From the deep, dark regions of my imagination (the part that works overtimes to produce puns): an utterly dreadful idea for a book proposal. As in totally lame. Here are some excerpts from the proposal. And for good measure, why not imagine a t-shirt based on the book…ack!











Dear Agent:

What happens when you don’t take the road less traveled? Ask someone like M. Scott Peck and you will get a serious answer. Ask a serial punster and you can imagine what my proposed book, LESSons from the Road Less Traveled, is all about.

The book asks a simple question: What really happens if you don’t take the road less traveled because you fail to pursue your dream?  LESSons from the Road Less Traveled provides these LESSons in the form of a pun.

For example, the book begins with some relatively simple but punful LESSons:

If you don’t pursue your dream of being a detective…
                                    that makes you clueLESS

If you don’t pursue your dream of being a seismologist…
                                    that makes you faultLESS

If you don’t pursue your dream of breeding Dalmatians…
                                    that makes you spotLESS

If you don't pursue your dream of bringing back the use of Morse code…
                                    that makes you re-MorseLESS

If you don’t pursue your dream of being a truly great landlord…
                                    that makes you a LESSer LESSor.


It also includes a number of double entendre LESSons such as:

If you don’t pursue your dream of teaching knot making to Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts…
                                    that means their ropes will be LESS taut because they were taught LESS


We have even identified a rare condition that can be classified as the “Lessness Syndrome.” For example:

If Gershwin had never pursued his dream of writing an opera about the fishing village in South Carolina…
                                    Theater goers would be suffering a severe
case of PorgyandbessLESSness

We go on to ponder the road less taken involving celebrity or famous fictional characters:

If don’t pursue your dream of being just as evil as Voldemor
that makes you "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-NameLESS"

That, in a nutshell, is the idea behind the new book entitled, LESSons from the Road Less Traveled. 


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